Last night was back to school night at my girls’ school. On the way home, my fifth grader was going over her syllabus for the school year, excitedly announcing each subject she would be studying. When she struggled with pronunciation, I was happy to chime in and help… as-tron-o-my, chem-is-try, ecol-o-gy. But when she asked for definitions of her subjects, that was a whole different matter.
She asked me “Mommy, what’s sta-ti-stics?” I took a deep breath and answered “Well, honey, statistics is… uh… well it’s sort of… it’s the study of…” F*ck! I thought to myself – I know exactly what statistics is, I think, but I just can’t put it into words. Thankfully, Claire quickly sensed my ineptitude, put me out of my misery and said “that’s ok, Mom, I’ll ask Dad.” I felt like such a dunce.
But wait, there’s more. Then she asked “Mom, what’s ecol-o-gy?” “Oh,” I thought, “this one will be easy.” But again, I was stumped. Deer-in-headlights dumbfounded. I could see the 1970’s ecology logo right there in my mind’s eye – does that count? And well, I knew what it was, or at least I thought I knew what it was but, again, the words didn’t come. Again, I felt like such a dunce. This time Claire was kind enough not to say she’d ask Dad, but I knew she would.
Then I started thinking about the journalism course I started this week and my interest in becoming a serious writer and said to myself, “F*ck! (I like that word) – how can I be a journalist if I can’t even describe statistics and ecology to my ten year-old kid?” In a quick save, from what could have been a serious shame spiral, I reminded myself “ah, yes, that’s where the research comes in. That’s investigative reporting.” Phew.
It’s no secret that I wasn’t a very dutiful student – at any time – in my schooling. To that end, I’m darn lucky to get to do it again with my kids. Clearly, it didn’t stick the first time. And who knows, maybe this bonus knowledge will even help me become a real, live journalist? So far, the redo of school is working beautifully – my math skills have improved significantly, especially since fourth grade and the addition of Kumon, and now that I’m a fifth grader, again, I can’t wait to learn all sorts of bright and shiny new things like sta-ti-stics and ecol-o-gy.
Look out world, Kim gets a school re-do. And, I got to say, I am very hopeful that as I go through it for the third time, with my youngest (now in first grade), it’ll stick for good. Maybe then, four years from now, when she and I are driving home from back to school night, not only will I be able to help her pronounce her new subjects, I will actually be able to give her a description of each and every one.
P.S. It later dawned on me – ecology is the passé term for what we now call “environmentally friendly.” See. I told you I thought I knew what it was.
October 4, 2009 at 11:20 am |
Reminds me of the Reality Bites scene where Winona Ryder’s character is asked to “define irony.” Her response: “Irony… irony… irony is when you’re like, ‘Oh my god, that’s so ironic.”
(Later she asks her friend to define irony, clearly assuming there is no actual definition. Her friend easily replies “irony is when the actual meaning is the complete opposite of the literal meaning.” Oh, yeah, that.)